Pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy pansy.

Why am I into them? WHY? Why do I feel the need to compensate for my aggressiveness through favoring passiveness. It's frustrating. Dammit.

Hope.

I really hope that you'll be okay...



I've realized...that in order to get where I want I need to be willing to put myself out there. Really put myself out there.

Perhaps I could never get there because I was never willing to give up that part of me.

If I were given 3 minutes of existence. What would I want?

I think about it, and things rush through my mind.

Passion, love, adventure, fame, understanding, acceptance.

And I realize that the answer is very simple,

3 minutes, 3 hours, 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 years, 3 decades, 3 centuries.

No matter the length of time, it is simple.

No regrets.

I just want to walk off this earth with no regrets.

To know that I was never afraid of the loss, the pain, and the obstacles that came with it.

With any of it.

It's funny that searching for the answer to one question led me to the answer of something unrelated.


This is what I live my life for, never to have regrets.

I will fight to the death for this.

It's amazing how simple things in life can make you happy.

I'll enjoy for the sake of enjoying because I don't know how long it'll last.

It's a nice feeling.

I want to hug people.

No more. No less. It is what it is.

For once I gave in.

So I've decided to just ride this out.

Just enjoying it for the sake of enjoying, not trying to reach some goal. Not giving myself a deadline to reach. Ultimately I have to answer to myself. Not to anyone else, and that's okay with me.

I'll enjoy whatever moments I have, and whatever happens will happen.

There's no need to try to justify being happy.

There's no reason to try to expect anything.

If I do I know I'll just end up miserable, and over think everything.

It's time to really let go.

When did I start wanting this?