Experience

You'd be surprised how much of life a person has had to carry on their shoulders.

It seems that those who cannot smile are usually the ones who don't completely understand strife.

Because, the ones who can understand what a gift it is for life to be mundane.

Those who believe that they understand people, have not been touched by wisdom.

I can make my own decisions.

I've had enough.

Your Time.

Your time, your time blahblahblah.

When the hell is going to be my time?

Giving it Up

You realize that in order to obtain a dream,
there are always things you must give up.

Last summer in order to obtain a dream,
I realized that I had to give up the possibility of a US position
or any senior staff position really. The environment the people
were things I loved and enjoyed a lot and I wasn't willing to stay
in the same seat I had at the time.
I gave up graduating on time, instead I decided to stay an extra summer after.
I lost progress on my hardcore diet,
progress that for me I'm still trying to get back to.
This is among other things.

But in return, I had the most amazing experience that I could have ever had.
I met the most amazing people, ate amazing food,
learned kendo in the same university that the wkc was held,
bettered my chinese skills to a degree i never could have here at home,
and just everything about it changed my perspective about life, and everything really.

To me, all the sacrifices I gave up in some ways held me back timewise on certain things, but the experience I took away meant more than any of the sacrifices would.

Now, again, I'm faced with the sacrifices.
So many things to me I feel I must give up, so many sacrifices I must make.
But in the end I believe I will see it exactly the same way.
It will be amazing, and all I will remember is how amazing it was.
Because the sacrifices we make, we make because we believe and know that they are worthwhile.

Benefit of Doubt

I always give the benefit of doubt until I can't anymore,

sometimes I think that's what gets me into trouble.

So I PRAY, that it doesn't do it to me this time.




Man why does this always happen to me -_-.

Love...

...is something that we create for ourselves to make us believe that we are not alone.


I think I've stopped believing in it.

It's not worth it.


It's the only thing in life that makes absolutely no sense to me.

Fuck it.

It's not worth the trouble or the hassle.

There are better things.

I'm just wasting my time.

I don't know how much longer I can go on but I have to stay awake for another 13 hours. dear god someone fucking save me i think im gonna shoot myself.

having 2 finals in a day and pull an all nighter is harsh.

Lalalala

Oh how nice it would be to be on a cloud right now.

Reminder

Most things in life are cultivated through hard work and determination.

Not handed to us.

It's easy to lose sight of this when you can't see your crops growing.

But you have to remember you're the one watering them everyday.

You're the one giving it fertilizer so it can grow.

It's easy to forget that every inch it grows is easy to ignore.

But for the consumer who's buying the crops you sow, all they can see is the finished product.

They don't know what kind of hard work and time has gone into what they buy.

There is no crop that grows without being nurtured first.

How much is something only you know.

You just have to realize that the end product WILL show itself.

Maginificent

By the words of Adriene, I need to start believing : "I am magnificent."

I need to stop thinking that I suck, and realize that I can do it. I know I can. I'm not the kind of person who goes into things half assed.


I'm going to train my body with whatever it takes, even if it means eating more vegetables. Haha, I love how it's not training harder, doing more exercise, or anything of that sort but vegetables!

I'll churn out someone who's good enough to win, in the next 6 months. And I'll commit everything I've got to it.

I've always been the type to do things that everyone else deems impossible.

I think my whole life has been proving that the impossible is possible.

And I will do it again.

Optimistic?

I think kenshi are the most optimistic people ever o.o.

My ankle is finally not swollen!

Yey! That means I can go to kendo tomorrow.

很有意思

我要笑。

是真的嗎？

大概不行。

我就看一看。

Style

If you're the aggressor in a fight, it's not all about your style.
It's about understanding your own, understanding your opponent's
and then knowing how to use your style against your opponents.

If you can never see beyond yourself, and are never able to connect yourself to your opponent, you will never get past the first match.

The best fighters are those that can truly understand others.

Wha?

So as everyone who was at practice today knows, or at least saw.

I cannot walk, yes I cannot walk. At least not like a normal person.

So today I was on my way to the BART to get to work which means go down the bart stairs in Berkeley. That was possibly one of the most PAINFUL experiences I have ever gone through. Every step felt like my legs were gonna die. Not as bad as sonkyo ugh or seiza but still pretty bad. So I hear them say Fremont train approaching, yeah you bet I was rushing my ass down the stairs, and then this retarded person and I meant that literally cheers me on for getting down the stairs.

Um.....I don't know how to react to that. But I think that you now understand how dumb I look when I walk down stairs. But at least I can kind of bend my legs, I can walk more than I did yesterday at least, that's great because tomorrow I have to go to Evans and go down those demonic stairs oh god. I hope my legs aren't that bad tomorrow.

Kendo was also possibly the most painful thing I ever experienced. My god! Do you know how much it sucks to have to do kendo when you can't zanshin properly? Ugh I felt like 500lb man trying to zanshin and hell a 500lb man can probably zanshin faster than me!

Sad :(.

I can't wait to walk like a normal person!

Anyway, free time is not gonna exist for me! Yey! Between work, classes and training my ASS off, I might have just enough to hang out with my dearly beloved friends.

God, do I EVER have time to see my friends?
Dammit!

Enough

I can never be PASSIONATE enough.

I can never be DETERMINED enough.

I can never be PUSHED hard enough.

I can never be DETERMINED enough.

I can never be INTENSE enough.

Unless it's breaks my body, mind and soul,

it will never BE enough.

I don't play to never be GOOD enough.

I don't walk into it not willing to GIVE enough.

It's time to prove I AM enough.

Let's kick it up a notch.

Full speed ahead, no excuses.

Blessings in Disguise

Sometimes the worse possible thing that you thing can happen to you, happens.
You think that it's going to break you apart and rip you into shreds.
When one of the windows of your cosy house gets shattered,
you wonder what it is that the world has come to and why?
But sometimes just sometimes it's these things that seem like the worse
omens that will temper your spirit and your mind to become strong.
The strength and will that you need to give you confidence,
confidence to bring it to another level, to bring it higher.
Because if you can deal with the omen, it will help you deal
with the blessings that come to you later on, and make you realize
that there is nothing that you cannot conquer.
The impossible is possible.
No dream cannot be realized.
Not for me.

There are no broken dreams in my life.
Because I make sure that I realize them.

The ability to always push forward, and to be fierce, comes from the ability to never look back.

Gratitude

It's in your greatest time of need,
that you realize what you have,
and who's there for you.

To those of you that are there for me,
and find it in yourselves to be willing to
do so much for me,

Thank you.

I have always and will always appreciate it.