Finally, three and a half years later I did it. Three and a half years later it happened. I've been wanting this for so long.

And it happened...by accident. I didn't mean to get angry, I didn't mean to lose it like that. But all of the raw emotion I put into it, that was all me, that was me giving it what I had. That was me letting myself take over, without fear of losing, without fear of anything, just pure raw emotion and the desire to let it all go.

I had a terrible day, a terrible week. I've been angry all week, but I've found something I've been looking for, for a long time and it sparked something in me. That slump I've been in, it's now gone.

It's a thrill to let yourself go like that. Suddenly, NOTHING matters, nothing but you and the other person and you want them to feel you. All of it, the intensity, the anger, the desire. All of it.

It was amazing. I want to keep experiencing that intensity, I will keep on trying, pushing, learning, until I can perfect it.

Until they know.

I've finally learned how to put all of me out there, and it's amazing.

I had to learn to accept my emotions as they were first. It will only get better from here.

You will feel it. All of this that is me.

I'm getting there.